Ok.

On Tuesday, I start on Zyban. I have a feeling that this will be the thing that will work for me.
It's a one of chance as if you fail, I don't think you get another chance to try it!
Please wish me luck.
:<)

Failure.

Goodness me or words to that effect. Had 3 cigs up to now. Not happy!

:<((

22nd.April.2007. 12:08pm.

Just about 3 more hours and it will be 3 days without a cig.

Today, I am trying without a NRT patch.
If I think I might be going to fail, I will slap one on very quickly. (I am not that confident yet.) Earlier, I had a puff or two on the inhaler thingy.

I really would like to get the nicotine out of my system. Am I rushing it? I have been parping about, stopping and starting smoking since October 21st. 2006.
Feel really tired today, the weather is a bit damp out there.
Take care.

Day 2.

Decided to have just the one cig. Then decided that it wasn't a good idea at all. So I didn't.
Nearly 48 hours without now.

If I had that one cig, I would have been duty bound to finish the other 9 off wouldn't I?
I know the answer to that. I couldn't have thrown the nine away. Maybe the last two or three. Now if my adding up is correct, I would have smoked 7 or 8 cigs. That would be 7 or 8 more than I want, or should I say would have smoked?

Maybe those 10 would have lasted until tomorrow. So that would mean Monday, starting again. No, I don't want to do that.
If I did, maybe I would say s** it and buy 10 more. Then a few days down the line, start it all over again!

I don't know, no one said life was easy though, did they?
Why can't I be one of those people who woke up one day and said, "That's it." threw any remaining cigs away and sailed through this with no problem?????
We smokers have met people like this. I wonder if it was really a bed of roses for them or not?

24 hours +

Gone without a fag for over 24 hours now. Well done to me! I will NOT be beaten.

Funny though, although I am not thinking of cigs like I was in January. (They were on my mind ALL the time. I kid you not.) I still feel that something is missing. Also strange that after all my quits, I still feel it!

Still, at the moment, I don't seem to be craving.
I go to see the Stop Smoking Lady on Thursday. Wonder if I will make it until then?
Yes, I will.

She said we could try Zyban or try to get Champix.

Now, Champix costs a fortune. So some doctors not happy to prescribe it. (Costs too much.) Bet it doesn't cost as much as a stay in hospital with some smoke related disease!
Anyway, I hope to manage on the patches, 14mg I am on now.

Please have a wonderful weekend! :<D

19th April.

Ryelands Park. Spring 2007.

Went to The Stop Smoking Clinic today. I had four cigs this morning. Had the last one before my appointment at 2 pm. It's now nearly 6pm and not had one since.

After my talk with the lady, I felt renewed.

So I am a born again non smoker! I really hope to do it this time too.

I think seeing her does help me quite a lot. Someone to talk to, face to face. So I go to see her next week. Just get through another week, smokefree. Then the week after that and so on.

She told me to start tomorrow, well, she didn't tell me as such but asked when I thought I should start stopping. It was me that said tomorrow. So I am practising. lol

Nicotine addiction is hard to break. Harder than I thought it would be. After a good few tries, in the past, I knew it wasn't easy. Gotta do it this time.

Again, once again.

Right, here I go again, well tomorrow anyway. I have smoked two, silly, smelly, expensive cigs this morning.

At the moment, ( 1) no patches, just mint humugs. (See below.)

At the moment, (2) don't want a cig. Whether it will last for the rest of the day, dunno. Would be nice if it could!

Willpower, where art thou?

Getting bored now!

Here I go again, not had a cig since about 11 am.
"Wow" I can hear you cry. "Well done."
Maybe, "So? That's not long."
Possibly it will be the latter.
If I can get through tomorrow I will be really happy. I don't like smoking now. I hate the taste really and the pong. I hate the wheezing and stuff like that.
It's because I am addicted to nicotine. Not that I enjoy a cigarette. Maybe I used to, not all of them though. But since I first tried giving up, I just want to stop.
Sounds strange but it's true.
If you don't smoke, please don't ever try. Not worth it!

Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right, now, let's go. I have managed a day without a cig. If I can do that without a problem, I can do others and the, finally stop!

I, one day may, more or less not think of the stupid things at all. Most of the ones I have smoked, I know I didn't enjoy. I may have said this before. (Sorry to be repetitive.)
So think of all that money gone up in smoke! I don't like to even think of it.
The Quit Site I am on will tell me how much I have saved. But I used to smoke more than the ten I do now.

Our elder son is 40 today. Happy Birthday I. They say life begins now.

Good weather today. Hope it keeps up.

Once more...............

Once more I am stopping smoking. It's day one and if like me, you are losing the will to live, lol, don't read any more!

Day one is quite easy, got that sussed now. It's the rest of the days.

This time, I am going to try not to think of cigs, easier said than done eh? Going to try and be a bit calmer.

After these quits, I like the feeling of not ponging like an ashtray, don't miss the wheezing either. I love the feeling that I am not a slave to nicotine.

So why, please tell me do I let myself down? No will power!

Oh heck.

After 13 days, had a cig, then didn't have one the day after. Then bought a packet of 10.
Why? Stupidity, that's why!
Anyway, got one left, will have that before bed or flush it down toilet. Not sure yet.
What I am sure of, is that I start stopping again tomorrow.
Don't enjoy them any more. So why do I still smoke? Addiction, that is what I have to beat.
Take care. X

Update!

It's half an hour off April 1st. It's half an hour from my 11th day of not smoking! Somewhere, somehow, it's all gone wrong. Just looked and it said I was on day 9 today.
Ah well. Maybe the time difference eh?
Ok, I am going to start day 11 very soon but golly gosh and words to that effect. I would love a smoke!
I know it will taste yuk. I know I would be upset if I did. I know that day 12 is ages and ages off.
Please wish me luck and if you are having the same battle, good luck to you!
I am off to bed away from temptation. Night night. Day 10 nearly done!
:<)