My Fight against the Cigs! Ahh.

I did it!!!! Four Years.

2011-10-01T07:22:00.003+09:00

Four years, 48 months and if I could do the maths, a lot of weeks and days. lol

That is how long I have been without a cig.

I am quietly pleased about it too.

What lovely weather we have been having lately. Very unusual for England at this time of the year. Not usually the kind of weather when you can sit out in the garden in warm sunshine anyway.

Feel sorry for the Isle of Man, they have rain but I am sure that they and Ireland will send us some soon.

Have a good weekend folk. x

Still going strong.

2011-09-21T04:08:00.005+09:00

On the 30th Sept 2011 I will have been cigarette free for four years. I still find it hard to believe.

I was one of the ones who didn't find it easy. I had a mental block I think. Three days and the nicotine is out of your system. The thoughts lasted much longer for me.

So, stopped when I was 63 and stayed stopped. I decided that I would have a cig when I was 70 years old. That age is rushing along now.

I tried all sorts to help me stop. Patches, inhaler, Zyban and finally, Champix. I smoked a few after taking Champix. (Not recommended!) I felt so ill that it put me off smoking. But not for long.
Anyway, I kept at it and I am where I am today. :<))

I think the trick is to go minute by minute, keep putting off having that cig for a few minutes, then put off for an hour and keep going. Grit the teeth and ride out the urges.
Hope you maybe one of the lucky ones that find it quite easy. Lots of people do.

When I buy our lottery ticket I look at the price of cigs! Goodness me, I don't think I could afford it now.

I also used the website Stayquit. Such support and make online friends at the same time. It is free. You can either go private or public. Rant and rave and if you are public there will be people that have had the same things happen to them. Worth a look. Only need an e-mail address and that is kept private and you can have a "funny" name. No need to use your own name if you don't want to.

http://www.stayquit.com/
I don't get commision for that!!!
If you are trying, thinking of trying, good luck. Just go for it, keep trying and one day you will be four years too.

I will go now before my head grows so large I won't be able to get out of the door. lol
Take care all. x

Well, not a one.

2011-05-17T06:28:00.005+09:00

Hello, good to be back.

The good news is that I am just over 3 and a half years cig free. The other good news is that although I still think of them now and then, I don't want one. Well, I don't think I do. lol

My plan was to have a cig when I get to 70. It's getting nearer so, will I?
I bet you I would be on about 20 a day again by now.
I noticed that the brand I used to smoke, (the cheaper end of the market,) were £6. something.

I bought a smashing little mobile /cell phone last week, I couldn't have done that if I still smoked. Would have to sell t'old fella on eBay to fund my habit.

I am here to say that it can be done. Not easy but neither was starting to smoke. Remember feeling quite ill. But it soon grabs yer.
Good luck if you are trying. Take care. x

Three and a half years.

2011-03-27T22:18:00.004+09:00

Hello,

Well, here I am at three and a half years, cig free.

Even I am amazed.

Now and then I think I would love a ciggie. But the real craves have gone and sometimes I go for a day without remembering I smoked. lol

That was my biggest problem. For some reason I just couldn't and even now, can't forget the silly things.

I still act like a Bisto kid at the smell of a freshly lit cig. Strangely enough, NOT in enclosed places. But even then for a second or two, they smell good.

I still have the 200 duty frees, still unwrapped behind me in a cupboard. Forget which country they came from now. I do forget they are there though.

Spring is here in good old England, had a few warm days. But today it is clouding over and soon we will have rain, (so they say.)

Not complaining though. The world has had a few heartbreaking disasters since I last wrote in here so what's a shower or two?

Love to all.

Good luck new quitters who may read this and well done to anyone who has already beaten the addiction.

PS. I am not and never will be one of the reformed smoker types. I promise. Ha ha. x

3 whole years........

2010-09-26T03:30:00.003+09:00

I say ---------> in 4 more days (Bedtime,) it will be three years since I last had a cig.
Yup, me, fagash annie.
So the 30th of Sept 2007 was my first day without a cig. I do have to admit that it wasn't the first time I tried to quit. Oh no.
Some of my quits lasted a little while and some just from waking up to actually going downstairs!
But now I have done it.
I must admit, even now and then I quite fancy one. I wonder if it was worth quitting? One life so enjoy it I think. Why go through all the quit stuff?

Well, saving my life, saving my money.
I am not sure whether I am a great believer in passive smoking but I don't rule it out either.
Too late for stopping for my kids, both in their 40's now. One smokes and one doesn't. Himdownstairs doesn't either.

I have bought a Wii for exercise. It's good fun too. I try and walk a good bit if possible too.
I don't work now so am not as active as I used to be. Don't have to get up at silly o'clock. Don't work the late shifts either. So it would be easy to put on tons of weight. Mind you, I was very skinny at one point. Maybe the bit of extra weight makes me look better. (If anything can!)

Ok, bragging over. Take care. x x x

Still not smoking.

2010-07-16T23:05:00.006+09:00

Well, it's summer in England. Yup, rain, thunder and lightening the other night too. Breezy today but now dry.
BUT somehow I can't wait until it is the end of September. http://www.stayquit.com/ will ask me if I am still smokefree! The answer is yes.
Well up to now it is and I really want to get to that three year mark.
I don't want to wish my life away, I mean I am now 66 and time goes so fast as it is. But that red light and the email from Stayquit cheers me up no end. Must get out more eh?
I sometimes chat with a lady who gave up smoking on a Christmas Eve. (Must be about 5 years this Christmas if not more.) She said she chose Christmas Eve as the shops would be shut. That of course meant she couldn't go and buy any. Then she found out the store at the end of the road was open for a few hours. But bless her, she didn't give in.

Me and sister went to London in June for the weekend. Met up with cousins we haven't seen for years! Good time too.

Take care and have a great weekend. x

Still going.

2010-05-10T06:37:00.002+09:00

Here I am, over 2 and a half years later and still not smoking.

Yes, me, the one who was first in the shop to buy ten or even five! In fact you could buy them singly at one time.
You could win them on the slot machine. My sister was good at that and used to sell them to me. lol
That's going back a good while now. Too long.
If you are thinking of it please don't leave it as long as I did.

It's a case of "Mama don't preach" isn't it? I don't want to do that.

Take care and have a great week. x

March 2010.

2010-03-31T05:38:00.002+09:00

Just passed the two and a half years without a cig.

I still fancy one now and then but suppose as I have often said, they may be on my mind for a long time. I mean, I smoked for a long time.

But on the good side, it's so much easier. Don't get that gritting teeth feeling anymore. Just a passing fancy.

I really hope the New Year Quitters are doing ok. It will be about 3 months so if you are one of them, good going.

I wish every quitter good luck too of course. Keep going, you can do it.
anne. x

2010. Jan 20th.Latest news.

2010-01-21T07:01:00.004+09:00

Belated Happy New Year to all.

It's ages since I wrote on here.
If you have given up the cigs for this New Year, good luck and it can be done. Trust me, it does get better with time.

At the end of March I will have not had a cig, no, not even one drag, for two and a half years. Even I cannot believe it.

Ok, it isn't easy especially in the beginning. No one said it would be though.
It is either easy or teeth grinding time.
I know I am contradicted myself but some find it relatively easy. If you are trying to stop I hope you are one of the former.

Reminding you about a good support site. http://www.stayquit.co.uk/
It's a wonderful site, well worth a try.

Take care.
anne. x

Two years.......Will I forget the cigs????

2009-10-07T07:31:00.006+09:00

On the 30th Sept I had not had a cigarette for two years.

I don't update this site so often.

I noticed though that someone had kind of wondered if the feeling of craving or thinking of cigs or just wanting a cig would go. Well for me, now, the feeling is different. So I hope you come back and read this, it may help.

I think that depends on the person really. I am one of those who can't let go very easily.

But now the two years have passed it has got so much easier.

I think that proves that the thoughts are just in my mind, I don't or didn't really want a cig.

Oh yes, at first I did, used to lay in bed and think that I can't go through another day feeling like I did.

They say that after 3 days the nicotine has left your body and it's all in the mind after that.

It may not feel like it but after a while you can cope with any craves. I liken it to wanting a piece of chocolate and not having any in.

You can manage without it but it doesn't stop you wanting some but you can cope.

I wouldn't promise anyone an easy ride but some people report finding it really easy. If you quit I hope you are one of them.

Also, if you do want to quit and try, good luck, if I can, you can. If I can, anyone can.

X X X X X

The latest news.

2009-08-21T06:31:00.005+09:00

Sand Art at Morecambe last weekend.

It has been a few months since I made an entry on here. Not a popular site but even so.

On the 30th of this month I will be 23 months without a cig. Not bad eh?? :<))

Last one smoked just before midnight on the 29th Sept 2007.
There is life after cigs.

It took me a few attempts to give them up. I don't apologise and I don't think I am a wimp, it is hard after many years of smoking to give them up.
I didn't really want to stop either so to me, it made it harder.

So why give up? Well, I was getting older, it happens to us all I know but 60 + was my time. I am pleased I have managed and hope I never fall back into the habit. It would be rather silly to do so but I was rather silly to start in the first place. But and this is my excuse, it was cool to smoke in the '60's. Some adverts say it was good for you.

We know better now don't we?
If you want to stop, please give it a good try. It is worth it. Honest.

Good luck.

anne. x

Keeping you up todate.

2009-05-26T05:58:00.007+09:00

Trees in Ullswater.

Well, it's been a while since I came and wrote on here. I am sure I have been missed.

No??

Ok.

:<)

Well, I have not had a ciggy since the 29th September 2007. I think that was my first day without. Or was it the 30th???

It's well over 600 days, now how sad is that?

But I only know due to http://www.stayquit.co.uk/ Honest!!! I do wonder if I would have kept a count if I had done it without that site.

I have made some great friends from the site. Never met them but you tend to bond. We all go through the same type of things when we quit. Of course not everyone is the same. Not everyone quits in the same way either. But whatever, the support is there and it's free.

Ages vary, amounts vary too some people smoke 40 a day, some less. But whatever age and how many cigs smoked many were successful. One or two like me had a few attempts.

A few? That's a laugh. I had a lot.

I was smoking about 7 a day when I finally stopped. A bit more if I could get away with it! Goodness knows what it would be now.

I had told my old fella that I had stopped ages ago and was smoking sneaky ones.

Goodness me, I was 63!

The reason I lied and he wanted me to cut down was that one time I got an infection and had great difficulty breathing. It was very frightening. I smoked about 3 a day for a month or two. When I retired I was soon creeping up again.

Anyway I am now getting near to 20 months, four days to go! Something like that. I remember knowing to the minute when I last had a smoke.

If you do try to quit, good luck and please try and stick at it. X

17 months and 10 days.

2009-03-11T03:37:00.005+09:00

Well, would you Adam and Eve it? All that time without a cig. I can't believe it really but yet I know it's true. Not even a drag of a cig.
Plenty of sniffing at passing by, fresh cigs though.

I didn't know that daffodils had such a nice scent or is it the ones that I was given that smell lovely? A different breed?

It has been a lovely afternoon now at nearly 7.45 pm it is getting cooler. There is light at the end of the tunnel though, summer is on its way!

Hope all is well with you all and that if you are quitting the cigs I hope you are doing well. Maybe a hard slog but worth it in the end. Upwards and onwards.
Luv from Fagless, ashless Lil.

12 days...........

2009-02-17T06:52:00.002+09:00

Hello again.
Twelve days and I will have reached that 17 month mark.
Hope your quits are going ok if you have taken the plunge.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X
:<))

Nearly 17 months.

2009-02-13T08:10:00.005+09:00

At the end of this short month, 28th Feb, I will not have had a cig for 17 months.

I am quite amazed with myself.

People have stopped asking how I am doing.

I miss that little pat on the head thing. lol

If you gave up the weed for New Year and you still are off the cigs, well done and please keep it up. I also hope your "journey" is relatively painless.

I have put weight on but whether that is because I have stopped smoking or because I have retired, I don't know. Perhaps a bit of both. I am hoping to do a bit of exercise when the weather gets better.

Oh yes, I have an excuse for every occasion.

I have one of those walker things. I go on that now and then. Tells you how many steps, how long you have been on the machine and how many calories used.

I don't know my calories from my elbow so should look into that I suppose. Maybe if I have used ???? amount of calories, it might not be much.

Yup, should get into the healthy eating mode. Don't think I will be good on a diet but I shouldn't eat loads of toffees.

Soon be better weather dear readers or maybe I should say reader, after all, I might read this one day. My daffs are peeking through, just the leaves but even they are growing quite quick. Soon they will be like this.

Stay Happy. X X X

Over 15 Months now!

2009-01-09T06:56:00.004+09:00

Hello, not updated this for ages.

Hope all is well with you all. Belated Happy New Year to everyone.

I have not had a cig for over 15 months now.
Do I miss them??? Well, not half as much as I did. I do get a little urge to have a smoke now and then but not anywhere as bad as the first few weeks. I honestly didn't think it would get better but it did!

I really kind of fancied one after my Christmas dinner. Knew I wouldn't like it much, knew I would hate myself for giving in and I knew I could easily start smoking again. I was so full of knowledge.

I hope I don't ever smoke again and I know it would be so easy to do so. But now it is easy to dismiss the idea. At nearly 65 I don't think I will ever be 100% safe but it would be so stupid to start again.

Goodness me.

2008-11-16T08:50:00.007+09:00

What is this then???

Well, I haven't written in here since August.
I have passed my year without a cig. Not one. No.... not even a drag.

However, every day I am aware that I do not smoke. Used to be very annoying but not bad now, I have got used to it. I don't even want a cig, not really.

Yup, me, cigless for 414 days. I never thought it would happen. Just shows what one can do. lol

I am going to have a cig when I hit 70. Just over 5 years to wait.

I don't really think I am out of the woods yet. Reports of people starting again after a year or so. But it would be very silly / stupid of me if I did.

Honest, I am NOT a born again non smoker. But if you can, please stop.

:<) Lots of luv from me. X

Happy Summer.

2008-08-08T07:39:00.004+09:00

Happy summer.

Up here in the north west of England it is mostly cloudy, rain and boy, when it rains, it rains. This is the second summer of not a lot of sun. It's warm enough though.

In Kent yesterday it was red hot.

Well, I am now doing my 11th month of not smoking. On the 27th August I will have done it.

I still get slight craves. Not half or even a quarter as bad as they were. But I still think of the things every day. I do wish I could go one full day without a thought of them.

Please, if you are thinking of stopping, don't let this put you off. It's not that bad. Just a bit annoying.

I have saved a bob or two so that is really good.

Hiya Everyone.

2008-07-29T06:37:00.005+09:00

Hello y'all.

Just popped in to say I have not had a cigarette for 10 months and one day.

Goodness, it has been hard at times. Many a day I woke up and decided to go and buy 10 cigs. Many a night I used to think that I would buy 10 cigs tomorrow.

Really pleased to say, it does get better. There are times you, (well I did anyway,) thought it never would.

I had a lot of support from www.stayquit.com I am sure I have told you about that site before.

Quite nice how you can easily make friends on that site. No payment, free to all. No need to give name and any other details. All you need is an email address.

But you get so much support, can post to people and get advice too.

Young and old and those in the middle, they are all there! Go on, if you are thinking of giving up the cigs, please try it.

If you lapse, no one judges you, no one at all. (If they do, tell me and I will give them an ear bashing!!!

I hope I am not a nagging ex smoker, you know the type, woke up one morning and decided to stop and never had one since. Tells everyone who will listen. lol Then goes on how smoking is bad for us. As if we didn't really know eh?

It might make me feel ill but if I knew I could just have the one, believe me, I would.

Well, I might.

Oh, I dunno. lol

Stopping Smoking. Update. 7 months.

2008-05-11T02:50:00.006+09:00

10th May. 2008.

Not had a cig since 29th Sept. 2007.

Think I am winning this battle now.

Ok, I do still wish I could have a cig sometimes but the feelings are getting less.................................................................................................thank goodness.

I am not a born again non smoker but do get upset if people close to me, (family and good friends,) smoke.

But I do keep quiet about it. I just wish they would stop too. Maybe one day eh? I mean people didn't think I could do it, even I didn't think I could do it. So there is hope for everyone.

I have been ill for a few weeks but now I am back to normal. Just a bit tired but maybe that is my age.

Sister and I went to Wray Scarecrow Fair last Monday. It was excellent. So treating you to some pics I took.

Take care and if you are like me you will be happy the warmer weather has arrived.

20th Jan.

2008-01-20T21:12:00.000+09:00

Now on day 113 of not smoking. The trouble is that I cannot let go of the thought of the things.

I know I will crave for ages and now they are ok, not as intense as they were. I have now stopped pulling my hair out and thinking murderous thoughts. lol Not funny at the time though.

But why do I keep thinking of cigs?

I suppose the reason is that I had smoked for a very long time and kind of miss it.

I haven't set times for these thoughts. I would have thought that I would want one after a meal like I used to. But no, not all the time.

Ahh well, if I want to be an ex-smoker I will have to put up with the irritating thoughts.

99 Days. No cigs.

2008-01-07T07:57:00.000+09:00

Goodness me, I have actually managed to not have a cig, not even one puff for 99 days. In an hour I will be on 100 days. I am amazed.

Not really proud as I would still like a cig, I think of them often. But now I don't crave as much as I used to.

I had "lost" my password to get on here so it wil be interesting for me to look back.

My last cig was on the 29th September. I smoked 20 over four days. They made me feel so ill too. I wonder why I didn't throw them away!

I never finished the full course of Champix either. I haven't had one of those since before the 1st November.

If quitting is your New Year's Resolution, go for it.
It does get easier. I had smoked for over 40 years. I had tried to stop many a time.

I can't say that I never will smoke again but I would be really stupid to do so.

Good luck.

I know New Year was on a Tuesday but this pic has it on a Thursday. lol

Many thanks to the poor nurse who saw me every Thursday. Many thanks to the wonderful friends I have made on http://www.stayquit.co.uk/

Good advice and support from other quitters. No one judges you. Well worth a try if you are quitting.

Still trying.

2007-08-29T23:44:00.000+09:00

I am still trying to give up the cigs. Done the Zyban and now on day 10 of Champix.

I think this is the one for me. I do hope so anyway.

Since I started smoking again and I don't smoke many a day, I have found I am not saving as much money. I know that sounds silly but I would have thought that I would be able to save more than I am doing.

I couldn't afford to go back to smoking 20+ a day, that's for sure.

Good luck anyone out there who is trying to stop. Hope you succeed.

Cigarettes.

2007-07-07T06:27:00.000+09:00

Well, went in our usual cafe today. No smoke! Actually didn't seem the same even if it is over 3 years since I had a cig in there!

Anyway, take a day or two, I have been stopped for about 35 days. I had four cigs on the 17th June, made me feel ill or it may have been the raw onion in the sandwich I ate. lol

I had two and a half on Wednesday the 4th July. Gave the other 7 away. Feel bad about smoking them but still, nearly 7 cigs are better than the 8-10 I used to smoke and even better than the 20+ I smoked over three years ago. I will do this! I will stop smoking. I will, oh yes.

Hello San Francisco if you return to this page!

Last year we spent a very happy 10 days there. Wonderful place. Still have a sweet from "The Stinking Rose." A holiday sister and I will never forget!

Update.

2007-06-07T03:46:00.000+09:00

Hello there. Not much writing done on here for a while.

Why?

Well............

Been on and off the fags since I last wrote on here.

I start to do quite well then buy some cigs. 10 usually, then I may take about 2 days to smoke them.

So although I had cut down really well, (I think so anyway.) I had not stopped.

Very pleased to inform you that I am on my 5th day without a cig.

I have decided that I really must NOT buy any more, even if the urge gets bad.
Anyone on this journey with me, good luck and those who have been at it a while, very well done!

Well.............

2007-05-08T03:20:00.000+09:00

Well, I am quite please with myself. Not that far off 48 hours now. Soon have not one bit of nicotine in my blood or anywhere else. I only hope I can keep this up.

I see the Stop Smoking lady on Thursday. I will ask questions about Zyban. I have a few concerns about it. Yes, I have read the leaflet on the side effects but wonder if I should continue taking it or check first. Better safe than sorry.

I keep thinking about cigs but that is all. I wonder if I have a bit of Zyban left in me and that is helping?

Have a nice weekend.

2007-05-05T05:49:00.000+09:00

They say the weather is going to change, just hope it keeps nice over the weekend and Bank Holiday Monday.

Right, down to brass tacks! I am on day 4 of my course of Zyban. That means I am still allowed to smoke. They aren't tasting good though.

I don't like the thought of putting drugs into my body. But if it helps me break the smoking habit, surely, it's worth it? Perhaps not as much yuck going in my body as there is in a cig.
Hope you have a good weekend.
:<)

Starting again. May 1st.

2007-05-02T01:18:00.000+09:00

Today, I have had my first Zyban tablet. I am hoping and praying that this will stop me smoking.
I can smoke for 11 days and by then should find it easier to stop altogether.
I will keep you posted on my journey.
Fingers crossed.
:<) X X X X

Ok.

2007-04-27T04:01:00.000+09:00

On Tuesday, I start on Zyban. I have a feeling that this will be the thing that will work for me.
It's a one of chance as if you fail, I don't think you get another chance to try it!
Please wish me luck.
:<)

Failure.

2007-04-24T02:44:00.000+09:00

Goodness me or words to that effect. Had 3 cigs up to now. Not happy!

:<((

22nd.April.2007. 12:08pm.

2007-04-22T20:08:00.000+09:00

Just about 3 more hours and it will be 3 days without a cig.

Today, I am trying without a NRT patch.
If I think I might be going to fail, I will slap one on very quickly. (I am not that confident yet.) Earlier, I had a puff or two on the inhaler thingy.

I really would like to get the nicotine out of my system. Am I rushing it? I have been parping about, stopping and starting smoking since October 21st. 2006.
Feel really tired today, the weather is a bit damp out there.
Take care.

Day 2.

2007-04-21T20:23:00.000+09:00

Decided to have just the one cig. Then decided that it wasn't a good idea at all. So I didn't.
Nearly 48 hours without now.

If I had that one cig, I would have been duty bound to finish the other 9 off wouldn't I?
I know the answer to that. I couldn't have thrown the nine away. Maybe the last two or three. Now if my adding up is correct, I would have smoked 7 or 8 cigs. That would be 7 or 8 more than I want, or should I say would have smoked?

Maybe those 10 would have lasted until tomorrow. So that would mean Monday, starting again. No, I don't want to do that.
If I did, maybe I would say s** it and buy 10 more. Then a few days down the line, start it all over again!

I don't know, no one said life was easy though, did they?
Why can't I be one of those people who woke up one day and said, "That's it." threw any remaining cigs away and sailed through this with no problem?????
We smokers have met people like this. I wonder if it was really a bed of roses for them or not?

24 hours +

2007-04-21T02:21:00.000+09:00

Gone without a fag for over 24 hours now. Well done to me! I will NOT be beaten.

Funny though, although I am not thinking of cigs like I was in January. (They were on my mind ALL the time. I kid you not.) I still feel that something is missing. Also strange that after all my quits, I still feel it!

Still, at the moment, I don't seem to be craving.
I go to see the Stop Smoking Lady on Thursday. Wonder if I will make it until then?
Yes, I will.

She said we could try Zyban or try to get Champix.

Now, Champix costs a fortune. So some doctors not happy to prescribe it. (Costs too much.) Bet it doesn't cost as much as a stay in hospital with some smoke related disease!
Anyway, I hope to manage on the patches, 14mg I am on now.

Please have a wonderful weekend! :<D

19th April.

2007-04-20T01:47:00.000+09:00

Ryelands Park. Spring 2007.

Went to The Stop Smoking Clinic today. I had four cigs this morning. Had the last one before my appointment at 2 pm. It's now nearly 6pm and not had one since.

After my talk with the lady, I felt renewed.

So I am a born again non smoker! I really hope to do it this time too.

I think seeing her does help me quite a lot. Someone to talk to, face to face. So I go to see her next week. Just get through another week, smokefree. Then the week after that and so on.

She told me to start tomorrow, well, she didn't tell me as such but asked when I thought I should start stopping. It was me that said tomorrow. So I am practising. lol

Nicotine addiction is hard to break. Harder than I thought it would be. After a good few tries, in the past, I knew it wasn't easy. Gotta do it this time.

Again, once again.

2007-04-18T22:57:00.000+09:00

Right, here I go again, well tomorrow anyway. I have smoked two, silly, smelly, expensive cigs this morning.

At the moment, ( 1) no patches, just mint humugs. (See below.)

At the moment, (2) don't want a cig. Whether it will last for the rest of the day, dunno. Would be nice if it could!

Willpower, where art thou?

Getting bored now!

2007-04-17T02:08:00.000+09:00

Here I go again, not had a cig since about 11 am.
"Wow" I can hear you cry. "Well done."
Maybe, "So? That's not long."
Possibly it will be the latter.
If I can get through tomorrow I will be really happy. I don't like smoking now. I hate the taste really and the pong. I hate the wheezing and stuff like that.
It's because I am addicted to nicotine. Not that I enjoy a cigarette. Maybe I used to, not all of them though. But since I first tried giving up, I just want to stop.
Sounds strange but it's true.
If you don't smoke, please don't ever try. Not worth it!

Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-12T02:45:00.000+09:00

Right, now, let's go. I have managed a day without a cig. If I can do that without a problem, I can do others and the, finally stop!

I, one day may, more or less not think of the stupid things at all. Most of the ones I have smoked, I know I didn't enjoy. I may have said this before. (Sorry to be repetitive.)
So think of all that money gone up in smoke! I don't like to even think of it.
The Quit Site I am on will tell me how much I have saved. But I used to smoke more than the ten I do now.

Our elder son is 40 today. Happy Birthday I. They say life begins now.

Good weather today. Hope it keeps up.

Once more...............

2007-04-09T22:38:00.000+09:00

Once more I am stopping smoking. It's day one and if like me, you are losing the will to live, lol, don't read any more!

Day one is quite easy, got that sussed now. It's the rest of the days.

This time, I am going to try not to think of cigs, easier said than done eh? Going to try and be a bit calmer.

After these quits, I like the feeling of not ponging like an ashtray, don't miss the wheezing either. I love the feeling that I am not a slave to nicotine.

So why, please tell me do I let myself down? No will power!

Oh heck.

2007-04-07T06:56:00.000+09:00

After 13 days, had a cig, then didn't have one the day after. Then bought a packet of 10.
Why? Stupidity, that's why!
Anyway, got one left, will have that before bed or flush it down toilet. Not sure yet.
What I am sure of, is that I start stopping again tomorrow.
Don't enjoy them any more. So why do I still smoke? Addiction, that is what I have to beat.
Take care. X

Update!

2007-04-01T07:30:00.000+09:00

It's half an hour off April 1st. It's half an hour from my 11th day of not smoking! Somewhere, somehow, it's all gone wrong. Just looked and it said I was on day 9 today.
Ah well. Maybe the time difference eh?
Ok, I am going to start day 11 very soon but golly gosh and words to that effect. I would love a smoke!
I know it will taste yuk. I know I would be upset if I did. I know that day 12 is ages and ages off.
Please wish me luck and if you are having the same battle, good luck to you!
I am off to bed away from temptation. Night night. Day 10 nearly done!
:<)

Oh dear, day 9.

2007-03-31T06:36:00.000+09:00

Oh dear, I would dearly love a cigarette. It's nearly time for bed so I might go a little bit earlier.
It's the thought of cigs. They are always on my mind. Must admit, not as much as they used to be though.

There is the feeling of something missing. I may have said this before. Sorry if I have.
But there IS something missing. Cigs!
They have been with me for over 40 odd years. Enough is enough.
Day nine is nearly over. I should be quite pleased with myself. I am really but just wish the crave would leave me alone.
One day soon, I hope it will.

I would be further on if I hadn't bought those ten on the 20th March! I mean, how sad is that? I remember the date. Slave to nicotine, well, no more!

Day 7.

2007-03-29T00:45:00.000+09:00

A day of ups and downs, more ups than yesterday.
I still feel like a smelly, foul tasting cigarette.
Why?
It's the nicotine.
I notice, now and then that I forget about cigs. Only now and then though. I presume it will get much better. I have read the wonderful support site on www.stayquit.co.uk
People who have done really well say that the thoughts will go.
I suppose it's a bit like being a recovering alcoholic. One drink and..............
With me, one puff and............................

:<))

Day 5.

2007-03-27T06:42:00.000+09:00

Hey yes, got through day five. That seems to be the day I go to pieces. Am now worried in case it's day 6 this time!

Have faith woman!
Ok, I will.

Smoking is bad for my health and yours too. lol
True though innit?

Day 3.

2007-03-25T08:17:00.000+09:00

My day started off quite well. Went to work. Felt really tired. That sort of tired where you could just close your eyes while standing up. Don't think it was anything to do with work though.
Anyway, really fancied a cig.
Remembered how awful those last few tasted over 3 days ago. Didn't really help though. Still fancied one.
Willpower had to kick in. I am pleased to say, I managed ok.
Don't forget, clocks go forward tonight, we lose an hour. Having trouble doing the one on the microwave. Every time I have touble with that. Have managed my mobile phone though. Computer, bless it. does it on its own.
I know it's too early really but I may forget some of them tomorrow. I get confused enough without that!

Day One.

2007-03-23T05:54:00.000+09:00

Rather a strange day today. I haven't had one cig, and after the ones yesterday that didn't taste at all nice, don't want a smoke.

BUT, feel rather low in spirit. A teeny bit tearful somehow. Why? I don't know. I suppose it is lack of cigarettes.

Usually, when I give up, the first few days are ok. I wonder why things are different this time?

I have had trouble getting to sleep. This isn't to do with smoking. So I feel quite tired.

Work tomorrow and Saturday but that shouldn't bother me much.

Never mind, things could be worse and are, for millions of others. So I should count my blessings.

I am back!

2007-03-22T04:15:00.000+09:00

Yes, I haven't written on here for a few days. But I am back.
It's Spring today, and tomorrow, I start the no smoking thing again.
Did I hear you groan?

No, this time I am going to do it. I am really determined.
I have smoked about 3 or 4 cigs up to now and they don't taste at all nice.

Ok, I have failed quite a few times since the 21st October. In fact, a heck of a lot of times. So please keep fingers crossed for me, the new me as from 22/3/07. That is the 22nd March. About 5 and a half hours away! Please wish me luck.
I do know that only I can do this, me on my own! By myself.

Day 5.

2007-03-15T23:46:00.000+09:00

Day five and what happens???
I will leave you to guess.
Am a bit upset!

Day four.

2007-03-14T23:31:00.000+09:00

Now on day four. Doing well up to now.

Lady, fat, yet, sung, ain't and the.

Rearrange the words above to make a sentence!

But I am feeling confident still and it's No Smoking Day. My first one, as you may know that I haven't had a cig.

Spring and my daffodils!

No Smoking Day.

2007-03-14T00:06:00.000+09:00

Tomorrow is No Smoking Day.

Now this year I won't feel guilty.

It's on TV, it's in the papers, it's on the radio, on posters. And if that isn't enough, people at work see you having a smoke and tell you what day it is!

So, tomorrow I will feel smug. Not a nice word, so I will feel proud, pride isn't good either is it?

No, blow it, it's the first time since they started this campaign that I haven't smoked, so, I am going to feel smug and proud.

Day 2. 12th March.

2007-03-13T08:38:00.000+09:00

Hey up, no cigs today! I am so happy.
:<) *************
****************
****************

Horrible. Day one.

2007-03-12T05:49:00.000+09:00

Yesterday, after five days, I bought ten cigs. The ones I used to smoke. Threw away the last few.
I can taste them yet. Yuck, they were horrible.
So here I am, losing the will to live and back on day one.

Yes, I said I can still taste them but I still have the feeling of something missing. I think that has been my trouble all along, something missing.
True, they have been my companions for many a year.
But I am going to try really hard this time. I'm going to do it! I know I keep saying it but fingers crossed, here I go. Hold that thought, they tasted bad!

Hmmmmmmmmm.

2007-03-09T00:05:00.000+09:00

Day Four!
Well, this morning I really fancied a cig. But in a funny sort of a way, I didn't. Anyone who is reading this and gone through it will kind of know what I mean.
Those who haven't will think I have a screw loose!
I will tell you now, I have a good few loose screws.

Been a walk with J. through the park. Got excited as we saw a grey squirrel. Then I remembered, they are the numerous ones, it's the red ones I should get excited about! Don't think I have ever seen a red one.
It's quite a pleasant day here, not very warm but it's still early March.

Below.... our walk in the park.

Day One or Day 3?

2007-03-08T04:22:00.000+09:00

Well, I am on my third day of not smoking. On the Quit site I am on Day one.

Confused? Me too. I do know though, I had my last smoke and I have possibly told you this, I had my last cig on Sunday at 4 pm.

Won't be long before they ban smoking in public places. It's actually ages and ages since I smoked in the smoking part of cafe or pub.

Then there is No Smoking Day. The day I always dreaded. Made me feel really guilty. I never kept that day, smokefree. Maybe this year I might. I do hope so.

Yet, as I am writing this, a cig would be nice, or would it? Not going to put it to the test though.

One day at a time, one hour at a time. I will do my best to beat the weed.

Given up...again!

2007-03-05T06:14:00.000+09:00

About 4pm today, I smoked my last cigarette. For a good few days now I have been smoking up to, maybe, 6-7-8. Didn't count them.
This is NOT an excuse as I managed without any from New Year until the 15th Feb. But, considering I used to smoke about 20 of the stupid things, I haven't done bad.
So from today, I am an ex smoker. I am not even saying that I hope I am. I am really going for it this time.
Please wish me luck. lol
Have a good week please.

Well.........................

2007-03-02T07:55:00.000+09:00

It's my birthday. Actually it's nearly over now. Not been a bad day though. Strange how I seem to age a year EVERY year. It doesn't seem long since the last one. (Will soon be Christmas.)

Anyway, I have smoked today. It has been a good and a stupid excuse.
I did really want to sail into my 63rd year an ex smoker.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to do it?
I am weak willed. I am stupid just like my excuses.

On the Quit Site, my date for stopping is the 7th March. (I have pressed that emergency button so often now.) Next week, on the same date, I go to see the Stop Smoking Nurse. So, I better get my act together.

Four ciggies.

2007-03-01T06:57:00.000+09:00

Williamson's Park Memorial. Lancaster.

I am NOT proud about this, but up to now, today I have smoked about 4 cigs. Two, I just smoked half of but I still lit up four. No excuse.

Work was bad. No excuse.

Just wanted one. No excuse.

Fed up. No excuse.

Deleted all my e-mails by mistake. No excuse.

My birthday tomorrow. No excuse.

Getting fed up with trying to stop, that isn't an excuse either! I mean, it's me that wants to stop. Except for husband and granddaughter I don't suppose anyone else cares.

But I care, I care very much. I just have to stop this awful, smelly habit!

Day One and a half.

2007-02-28T07:14:00.000+09:00

Nearly finished day one now. Not been too bad I suppose. Certainly not as hellish as the first time I stopped, although, I seem to think that day one and two weren't too bad really.

Yes, I seem to be getting a serial cigarette stopper.

I reckon, if I keep trying, one fine day I will do it! I really hope so anyway.

Found another site tonight.

www.whyquit.com

My other one is www.stayquit.co.uk I have used that for a while now. They have very good results.

I think, through them and the support I get of the friendly members, I will succeed!

Yes, well worth a try and it's free as is the the other one.

With all the money I save could be able to buy myself a little car like this! Not that I can drive!

Time for action.

2007-02-27T06:20:00.000+09:00

Right, time for action. I know I keep saying it but this time I really go for it.

On Thursday, I will be 63. I need to stop the cigs.

I did ok, then, on Sunday I bought 10 cigs. Finished the last one about 2:30pm today.

For me, looking back, that is good but it isn't good enough!

I wonder if there is a binge smoking problem like there is a binge drinking problem?

So, all being well and it will be! Day one again tomorrow. I am getting really boring now.

But in the end, I will be everso pleased. I just know I will.

Happy to hear my niece has passed her NVQ 2, my great niece is 18 today and I have done a very short course on the computer at work.

They have asked me to be a guinea pig and test the newer, easier system at home. I said I would.

The bus driver told me I looked too young to have a bus pass! Oh, happy day.

On the downside, the bus driver may have been extracting the mick and the computer people at work may have thought, if I can do it, any fool can do it! You never know do you?????

I think I prefer the former.

Day 2. Not bad!

2007-02-23T05:07:00.000+09:00

My cold is really feeling bad now, runny nose, sneezing, eyes watering. Oh, I am in a state. lol

Luckily, no sore throat or coughing. I wonder why? Not that I wanted them, no way!

Maybe because of the no smoking thing. I know I started again but I suppose that 20 cigs since the 15th Feb, is good for me.

Up to then had none all year. Quite upsetting really, starting again but I went and did it so have to live with it. Put it behind me. Everyone was right, there is no such thing as just the one. So I am back on day 2. Not that long off bedtime so I will manage. Hope tomorrow is as good as today has been, re- the craving.

Lent! Day One Again!

2007-02-22T05:08:00.000+09:00

Usually I give up coconut for Lent. It's a bit of a cheat as I hate the stuff.

So this year, realised it would be a good time to stop smoking again. Haven't had one today and it's been ok really. I have to start again as I must get rid of this addiction.

I managed to get over 40 days and nights last time and just as it was getting easier, I had a couple of cigs. I mean, how stupid can I get?

I have found this disgusting pic on the Internet. But this could have been me! Yuck.
Ok, I only smoked the cigs, honest, but this pic is ace.

Oh dear!

2007-02-18T05:09:00.000+09:00

Day 46, no cigs since last year! THEN, over the last 3 days, I have smoked five of the things. Not happy but who to blame? Ok, me! Well, it had to be didn't it?

Well, got up, brushed myself down and started again. Proper day one will be tomorrow.

What is the worst thing, the last two couple of days before I started again, I wasn't thinking of NOT smoking. At first, it was constant. Horrible.

So, with more willpower, patches, chocolate, sweets, fruit, I hope not to crack again.

:<(

Relapse. 15/2/07.

2007-02-15T23:52:00.000+09:00

I hold my hand up. Today I have smoked 2 cigs. Hopefully, that is the last!
Pity, I was doing really well, or so I thought. Gave the rest of the packet away.
Pride does come before a fall. I will try again.
:<(

Valentines day!

2007-02-15T06:27:00.000+09:00

Not one card. Suppose at my age, I shouldn't be surprised. lol Actually, did get one by email from my friend in the USA. Thanks B. from himdownstairs and me.

Well chucks, it's day 45 of non smoking. Nearly 7 weeks.
The last few days have not been too bad, especially the last two. But today, I rather fancy one. Haven't done, honest.
I have read, that after all this time it will taste like sand, not only that but I will hate myself for giving in.
I haven't worn the patches for about a week, maybe more. So, no nicotine in my system now.

Suppose I should be proud of myself! ok, maybe I am but more than proud, suprised!

Well................

2007-02-11T07:57:00.000+09:00

Day 41 nearly finished. Same with anyone who stopped as a New Year's Resolution. If you were one of them, a very well done to us all!
I may have said already, that I have stopped wearing the patches too. I don't think I have stopped too soon, not for me anyway. With or without them I still crave at times.

It is getting better now. I can think of cigs and yearn for cigs without really wanting one.
Ok, I suppose I do want one but I have got to the stage when I can overcome the urge.

I hope this continues. I really do. I would like to go a full day and just forget about cigs.
Good luck everyone. X

My Poster!

2007-02-09T08:32:00.000+09:00

39 days.

2007-02-09T03:19:00.000+09:00

Goodness gracious me, thirty nine days without a cig............me!

Funny though, I still want one. I do forget that I want one more often now. Well sometimes I do.
Those who have given up the cigs, or any habit, I suppose, will understand what I mean.

Addiction is a hell of a thing to beat.
Took me years to stop biting my nails.

Day 38.

2007-02-08T05:41:00.000+09:00

It's been an up and down day today. Nearly gave in. Glad now I didn't though. Still time I suppose but when I get to this time of the day, it usually feels easier. Don't know why. But always glad when it's nearly suppertime. Strange or what?

Sometimes I get really fed up with this battle. I ask myself, "What is the point?" Stupid question I know.
But at nearly 63 I do wonder if it is worth all the "fighting" the monster.

But, I think it is. Well, I know it is. One day it will be much better. Hours and maybe days will pass without me thinking of cigarettes. I just know it will.

I have stopped using the patches now, I use my dummy ciggie.

5 Weeks!

2007-02-07T06:38:00.000+09:00

Not had a smoke since last year. Never had one in January either. lol

Got an email from the quitting site today, haven't had one for five weeks!

I am rather proud of that. Never, ever, have I lasted this long.

I have to now, forget that I ever smoked. That is the hard bit. I think I may have cracked the habit but not the thinking of them. Very strange I know.

I don't want to blow my own trumpet too much, early days as yet.

I am not very far from my birthday, 63 or as I prefer to say, my 3rd twenty first birthday.

If I manage this stopping smoking thing, it will be a great present to me from me.

Day 36.

2007-02-06T00:08:00.000+09:00

It's 3 pm on day 36. No patch again today. Don't know whether I am being wise. Should I wear one or not?
Every morning, I wonder yes or no?

The night before is "Oh yes, I better wear one tomorrow as it's been a bad day today."
After 48 hours the nicotine is out of your bloodstream. So I should have none left by now. Dummycig coming in handy at times.

It's been a long and rocky road. One day you feel positive, the next negative. Funny old world innit?

It lasted!

2007-02-05T06:45:00.000+09:00

Well, now I am on day 35. I am getting bored now. If you have been reading this blog, you must be too!

I am fed up of not having a smoke. I am fed up of thinking of cigs. I am fed up of writing about cigs. I am fed up with the bloomin' struggle, the crave, the one won't matter thought, the "shall I use a patch or not today?" conversation I have with myself each morning.

Why can't I be like those people, you know the ones..................
"I woke up one day and thought, I don't want to smoke, waste money, cough, get breathless, ruin my health, ruin my families health, pay all that tax, etc? So I just stopped, just like that, no problem at all."

Oh no, not me, day 35 and I still fancy one!

:<(

Will it last?

2007-02-02T06:42:00.000+09:00

Been to work, a very busy shift it was too. Only 3 nurses. Madness. Too busy to think about a smoke! I wish that feeling would last. No work tomorrow so I will see what I feel like then. Will be going shopping!
Work on Saturday again. So, it's day 32 now, shopping = day 33, work = day 34. Not doing too bad eh?
Just hope and pray that I can keep this up. It's so hard. But I know it will be worth it in the end!
:<)

Day 31. Wednesday.

2007-02-01T03:04:00.000+09:00

What a month, in one way it has passed very quickly, in another way, it has lasted forever!
Still, it's now 18:05 and the end of January and have not had a cig!
Tomorrow, I can say I haven't had a cig since last year and I didn't have a cig last month. Same difference but sounds good to me.

It's surprising how often and how near I have come to just having the "one." I mean, I have even surprised me.

I still can't say I don't smoke any more. I just daren't. Maybe in a year's time I can say, "I used to smoke but don't any more." I mean, I hope the feeling like this has gone!

I have heard of people who have been stopped for years, just fancying a smoke. But of course, the majority don't. I suppose it's like passing a fish 'n' chip shop, smells good but it doesn't mean that you will eat some every time you pass. Especially if you pass one every day!!!

I don't ever want to preach to the people who still smoke. (If I stick to my NYR.) I hate that.
I would help support them if they needed it but I refuse to be judgemental.
Part of nursing is not being judgemental.

I say! Day 29.

2007-01-30T07:57:00.000+09:00

Morecambe and Lakeland Hills.

It's nearly the end of day 29 of my stop smoking thing! Never, have I gone this long.
I must admit, it's not been easy and I don't think I will wake up tomorrow and not want a cig, I would love that to happen and soon. But I realise, after 45 years or so, it could take me a while to stop craving or thinking about them.
Yes, I will blow my own trumpet, I think I have done quite well. Many the time I have thought, "Oh, go on, have one." But hand on heart, I haven't.
Patches, yes, dummy cig, yes, sweets, yes, chocolate, yes. I admit to all those. May end up like a little barrel. But when I have really got this beaten, can start on the eating healthily thing!
Not heard from anyone else that hasn't had a cig this year, I live in hope. lol But anyway, the best of luck! Hope it's worth the struggle.

Bad day! 28th.

2007-01-29T06:26:00.000+09:00

Not been a good day today. yesterday too, I would have loved a cigarette. It's four weeks tonight since I last had one. Surely things should be getting better by now????
Must admit, not had much to do today so possibly been a bit bored. Hope to go out with sister tomorrow if the weather is dry.

Tuesday, will talk himdownstairs to go up town. Wednesday, shopping, Thursday, work. All those things will keep me occupied.

I am helping out the chocolate industry! Just hope the craving isn't as bad tomorrow or any day thereafter!

It's hard work is this quitting job. lol But in the end, well worth it!

I want a smoke!!!!!

2007-01-27T03:58:00.000+09:00

I really, really, fancy a cig. Had a good day yesterday, just knew it wouldn't last though. Cusses.
Still, not going to have one. At least I pray I'm not.

Nearly a month of not smoking, all that time and effort! If I had one now, I would cry.

Going to be strong. Got to be strong, will be strong.
Go away craving, begone with you! Now.

24th Day.

2007-01-25T07:42:00.000+09:00

Picture of Lancaster Castle taken from our car, on the way to work.

Well, went shopping this morning, then a quick snack and off to work.
It has been busy so not a lot of time to think of smoking.

Then, I came home and guess what? Yes, I rather fancied a smoke. Didn't have one though.
Working tomorrow, then have Friday off and back on Saturday. So short of staff.

Day 23.

2007-01-24T06:21:00.000+09:00

Good Booklet!

This month seems to be taking forever! I am now on Day 23 of the no smoking thing, still on the patches, still on step 2.
Thursday I go and see a "Stop Smoking Nurse." I don't know what will happen then. Maybe ideas on diet, exercise and stuff like that. I will let you know. lol
I am going through quite a bit of chocolate and cough candy sweets. But not really going completely mad with them.
I still feel something is missing, not the cigs although it is because of them I am missing whatever it is.
I do have a dummy cig and that does help. Not really much good at work or doing the shopping though is it?
I think today has been a little better so I suppose tomorrow could be bad again. Oh yes, I look on the black side. Always have done. But I will be at work all afternoon after shopping in the morning, so that will help, I hope it will anyway! Hope anyone that is going through this hell, the best of luck! X

Week three!

2007-01-22T07:42:00.000+09:00

Hospital helicopter landing site!

Well, in just a little over an hour, I have not had a ciggie for three weeks.

I don't want one either but I do. I think I won't have one but the craving is still there. I think I am on just willpower now.

It's strange, feel like I have lost a good friend, miss them. They were my companions for over 45 years. I suppose after all that time, they will be missed.

Worked tonight, too busy to think about cigs. It's when I am bored or just sitting about that it "gets" to me.

Yes, I should get a new interest, but what? Too cold or wet to go for long walks as I am a wimp.

Can't find any sewing classes, don't fancy going to a club every week, you know, Keep Fit or anything like that. I really hate to commit myself to a certain time or place. Had enough of that while I worked.

My own fault isn't it? Ahh well, I will keep going! The struggle MUST get better soon, surely?

Hello Non Smokers!

2007-01-21T07:50:00.000+09:00

Car park, weekend. Flooded!

Good evening to smokers and non smokers.
I have been to work today, finished at 9pm. Strange but at the back of my mind were the cigs. Now I am at home, it doesn't seem as bad. Still fancy one though.
Tomorrow night at 11:45 pm, it will have been three weeks since I last had a cig. I could really do with one now. But I'm not going to. Why?

A/ Would have to start again.
B/ Would let myself down.
C/ Would end up smoking too many.
D/ Would let my granddaughter down.
E/ Would let my husband and family down.
F/ Would lose face. lol

Wrote the list in no particular order! Just my reasons for not giving in.

Day 19. Yikes.

2007-01-20T05:40:00.000+09:00

Photo above taken while we were driving home in the rain!

I am on day 19 and everyone that gave up new year, will be too. Not too hard for me to work that out, didn't even use the calculator! Honest.

Rain today and now the wind is getting up again.
Read in the papers of the damage it has done here and abroad.
I have always hated wind, it frightens me when it is really blowing hard. So goodness knows how other people managed yesterday.

Work for me tomorrow and Sunday. I find it hard to believe that it will be 3 weeks on Sunday since I last had a ciggie. Yet it seems ages ago.
I wonder if anyone is like me and keeps thinking of cigs, not maybe, really wanting one but missing them somehow?

Promenade in Morecambe.

2007-01-19T02:54:00.000+09:00

Midland Hotel, Morecambe.

Very windy today. Enough to drive me to drink, never mind the fags!

Although you can't see him properly, there is one brave firefighter near that roof. In all that wind too. Hope he got danger money. Well done sir!

Glad I took up nursing. lol x

Day 18.

2007-01-18T21:00:00.000+09:00

This is what would be left. Waste of time and money really!

It's midday on my 18th day. By now, I would have thought things would be better! After all, it's not that far off 3 weeks since I last had a cig.
Yesterday was good but I somehow knew it wouldn't last. lol
Hopefully, there may be more good days than bad.
I admit, I am still struggling a bit. I think I have just about got to the stage where I really want one but won't give in.
The Quit Smoking site I use is good. One lady said, "Be strong, don't pong!" I thought that was a great saying.
I am still on step 2 patches. I think step one are too strong for me now, so that must be an improvement eh????
The wind outside is really strong and I hate it very much. I just expect the roof to blow off or something like that.
Ahh well, not to worry, tomorrow is another day.

Wednesday. 17th Jan.

2007-01-18T01:20:00.000+09:00

Well, I don't remember writing the last post today, I think I wrote the wrong date.
It's the 17th January today, not to worry I am back on track now.
Happy Birthday to our younger son. Poor lad is working.

It was a bad day for me yesterday but today, it seems a lot better. It's not 4:30 pm yet so there is still time. I just hope that all goes well for me up to bedtime.

Went to have my hair done this afternoon. I was praying, lol, that my hairdresser lady would ask how I was doing. (I am a big show off!) Anyway, she did and of course, I had to tell her, I mean, it would be rude not to have done so. She said I had done well. She smokes so she knows how hard it is.

To be really honest, I am worried. I just don't have faith in myself, I feel if I do show off and tell everyone, I will fail.
If I did have a cig, I would say so.
I mean, 17 days without a smoke! Me!
Ok, getting small amounts of nicotine in the patches but I don't think as much as I would be getting if I still smoked.
Oh shut up Fagash, ok, I will. Bye. x

Oh dear me!

2007-01-17T03:31:00.000+09:00

Today has been the worst yet. I nearly lapsed. Just the one I thought. That thought could have set me back 16 days. The day isn't over yet but it's 6:30pm and I hope I can manage now.

It was quite scary earlier.
I just seem to get fed up with the battle against cigs. I wonder, why am I doing it? Yet, I know why. But then I think, if I just smoke about 3 a day, it would be ok. I know me, it will go from those 3 to ???????????????????

Then I would have to start all over again. Another 16 + days of misery. lol
Finished the mints and am now on cough candy! :<))

Day 16.

2007-01-16T22:22:00.000+09:00

Wouldn't you think this stop smoking thing would get a bit easier??? I suppose, it is better today than it has been other days. Tomorrow it could be bad again or it could be better. It's like a little adventure, you wake up and don't know what the day could bring.
As long as it isn't having a cigarette, it might be ok.

I admit to boring myself with this battle. I just wish I could stop thinking of how I am stopping. Sounds daft doesn't it?

Sometimes I go for a while, not wanting a smoke and not thinking of my "battle," Then it comes back. So then, if possible, I come and write on here, bore the pants off any soul who has the misfortune or patience to read all this! lol

But, good luck to anyone who stopped on the last day of 2006.
Good luck to anyone else who are quitting, whether it is stopping smoking, dieting or other things. I hope we can do it.

Day 15. Help.

2007-01-15T20:04:00.002+09:00

This no smoking thing does NOT seem to get easier. It's 11:05- Monday the 15th. Despite the patches I still fancy a smoke.
Although I could just have "the one" I am not going to.
I DO want to stop and I suppose after all the years I have smoked, I have done well. But I don't like the feeling of constant yearning.
Perhaps I am being impatient, perhaps I should just go with the flow. Let the feelings pass. I suppose that if I am really honest, it is getting a little easier, even if I did say it wasn't at the beginning of this page.
Also, if I continue to be honest, I would be very happy if I could manage to just smoke 3 cigs a day. But I tried that, did very well at first but then crept slowly up to over 10 a day. That happened about 3 years ago. In the end, I suppose it would have been about 15 daily. Sometimes more and sometimes less.
I notice how much people who do smoke, smell of stale tobacco / smoke. Not that I am judging them, how can I judge anyone? I used to think that a toffee and a spray of perfume or something like that would cover up the ciggy smell. WRONG!
Please wish me luck. Thank you. x

Day 14.

2007-01-15T07:48:00.000+09:00

A fortnight....... day 14....... two weeks..............last year, whatever you call it, I have done it! No smoking.
Too soon to show off though.
No one said it would be easy and it ain't. Would have loved a cig earlier this afternoon.

Funny, one minute you forget about it, the next it hits you. Patches, lozenges or whatever, that will be where the willpower comes in.

Good to be able to say that I haven't had a cig since last year. But I must not be "clever" about it. I am not out of the woods yet, maybe never will be. Maybe, after years, just one could start me off again. Hope I don't have to test that theory.

It's getting a bit boring now, not smoking. Tend to wake up and think, another day of struggling. At first, it wasn't too bad. I felt good about it, I still do but get cheesed off with the daily battle. Suppose it the nicotine trying to get you back! lol Ahh well. Keep going. X

Day 13.

2007-01-14T07:43:00.000+09:00

Hello. Well, yesterday was enough to turn me to drink never mind a cig. Today all is different!
Pump for hot water and central heating mended. I am impressed with the Gas people. Thank you.
Work was much better too.
I am on day 13 and although I still feel something is missing and I would dearly love a cig, I have refrained!
I know I am not completely cured so mustn't become too cocky! lol.

Day 11.

2007-01-12T05:30:00.000+09:00

Well, I do know it ain't all over until the fat lady sings and I know I am not out of the woods yet but today has been quite good for me! Ok, I do still fancy a cig, will do for ages I suppose but it has seemed a little bit easier.

Now I have told you that, I will be craving for one soon. It's 8:30 pm and surely I can last until bedtime. I will do if it kills me. lol

Is anyone out there at the same stage as me? I would love to hear from you.

Very windy here today, especially on the promenade but the gulls liked it!

Help.............

2007-01-11T06:40:00.000+09:00

Have been to work. It was awful.
Some elderly people aren't half strong. Not long been home and I want a cigarette! Not had one though. The crave is bad.
It's day 10 and it's not really far off 10 pm.
It was an awful shift.
I get the happy job of going on Friday and Saturday too. Aren't I the lucky one???? I really think it's time I retired properly. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Goodnight everyone. x

Photo of a staff nurse who tried to escape! lol

Still going, day 9.

2007-01-10T03:12:00.000+09:00

It's day 9, I am still plodding on.

I am on the step two patches now. I think it maybe a bit soon but since I have been trying to stop, on and off since October 21st, maybe it's time to go on to step two. Will let you know how I go on.
Work tomorrow so I won't be sat around thinking of cigs.

Now I have a problem, why won't my MP3 player play?? There is always something isn't there??? lol I know if I have a cig, it won't make the MP3 player play will it?

Day 8.

2007-01-09T03:19:00.000+09:00

What a day. Really fancied a cig. Just one I thought. Big mistake I thought. So I didn't.
I sat and watched Skye programmes instead. Luckily they were kinda biographies of my kind of people.

Country and Western singers, Johnnie Cash, Hank Williams and someone else, but I forget who.
They say that while you are in the early stages of giving up the fags, your concentration slips a bit. Now that worries me, mine wasn't that good when I smoked anyway. lol

Couldn't play with my new camera, rain and wind. I really fancied going out to take some pics today.
Work rang me and I agreed to work 3 shifts this week.

Pic taken with new camera of a plant and my phone. I am good to you. hee hee.

Day 7.

2007-01-08T03:08:00.000+09:00

It's day seven of my non smoking life. I really wanted a cig earlier, but yet, I didn't. Strange feeling really. Had a feeling that something was missing. I tried without my patch but put on the 14 mg one on in the end. Maybe it's all in my mind but it seems to have worked up to now. 18:14.
Felt a bit "strange" last night, sickly and stuff so decided that it could be the 21 mg patches. I really don't think it was though. I take them off at bedtime even if they are able to be used for 24 hours.
Wonder when it will REALLY get better????
Take care and all the best to you all, especially those new, non smoking people. I feel for you, I really do.

Must tidy the remains of New Year's eve. Photo shown, took it tonight with my new camera! The cans of bitter are missing, think himdownstairs has hidden them.
:<)

Day 6./ 6th Jan.

2007-01-07T06:36:00.000+09:00

Today and tomorrow are the bad days for me. The others after that maybe too. I will let you know. lol
I am getting a lot of support from http://www.stayquit.co.uk
There are some great people on there. Gives me faith when I find that Barry has lasted 67 days now without a cig.
They, (the site,) don't judge you and you can keep things private if you wish. Not that they know your real name anyhow. lol I have joined twice now, felt a bit guilty but last night I found others have too.
It's good to know how much cash you have saved, how many days you have added to your life and also read about the benefits to your body.
Soz if I am getting boring now.
I bid you a fond farewell. x
I will award myself a little "Well Done." Please don't let it be famous last words

please.

Day 5.

2007-01-06T04:10:00.000+09:00

Hiya my friends. (And those that aren't.)
I am on day 5 now. Usually I get up to day 6 and lapse. Not this time, no, I don't smoke anymore, haven't had one since last year.
I have been looking at the price of nicotine patches today. I mean, they don't help you to stop do they? They are very pricey. Ok, maybe less than a week of non smoking of 20 a day.
I think that New Year and No smoking Day, they should be really, really cheap!
Personally, I find them very helpful indeed. But for people who haven't used anything to help with the craving and wonder whether they will help them or not, I bet it's a bit offputting.
I shouldn't moan really, I am over 60 so I get them free. Also, if you get them through a doctor, they are a good bit cheaper.
I went out to lunch with my niece today, she thought we would have to sit in the smoking area then realised I had stopped the habit. It must be hard for her as I have smoked through all her life. Scary thought, innit?

4th Jan, day four.

2007-01-04T22:38:00.000+09:00

118 hours of no cigs. Not bad for me. I am now on day four and it's about 13:41 here.
I still feel as though something is missing though. But yet, I don't want a cig. I don't think I do anyway. lol. If I did, I just know from experience, that I won't like it as much as I thought I would and will feel as though I have let myself down. So that is a good reason for not smoking. Am still on the patches, the high dose. They DO help.
I won't pat myself on the back until I find the need NOT to write about it or forget to write about it!
I suppose, I will be a recovering ex smoker for the rest of my life. I do notice, when it's quiet, I don't hear me wheezing now.
If you stopped as a New Year resolution, best of luck. I am with you every step of the way. X

Another go at it..............

2007-01-04T03:17:00.000+09:00

Happy 2007.
Well, I haven't had a cig now since last year! (Oh, I wish it was April and I could still say that!) Not that I am wishing my life away. If I had stayed ciggie free since the day I started this battle, I would have been able to say I hadn't had one since the 21st October. I would have been really happy about that and most possibly, surely, over the worst of it.

I hope anyone who has made the effort to stop is good and gives up the weed. If not, be like me and keep trying. I will manage one day.

I had a last one on New Year's eve at about 11:45 pm. I smoked quite a few that night and didn't enjoy them at all. Well, maybe I did enjoy one or two. I certainly didn't smoke more than seven cigs though. Even though the last ones weren't nice, I still, somehow fancy a smoke. But why???? I know it won't taste good. For goodness sake, I have slipped before and wasn't very happy with my 3 minutes of smoking. I felt I had let myself down, which I had.

The patches are helping as I think I may have, shot my husband, run through the street, screaming and swearing or torn down the curtains or something like that if I wasn't wearing one.
Silly really, I couldn't have shot my husband, no gun!!! lol
Take care and good luck. x

Lapsed.

2006-12-27T01:44:00.000+09:00

I have lapsed over the Christmas period, and if I have to tell the truth, before that as well.

BUT, a New Year's resolution I think. I will beat it, if it kills me, I will. And it will kill me, one way or the other. If not, will end up not being able to breathe, I have seen poor souls like that. The Cholesterol will clog up my arteries, maybe leading to a CVA, (stroke.) Maybe amputation of a leg or two.
That's if the cancer sticks don't do what they are named for. "The BIG C."

All that should be enough to put me off. No one says it will be easy but if people can kick the booze and heroin and other drugs, I can beat nicotine, surely?

Depressing thoughts and a Happy New Year to all!

New Year's Resolution?

2006-12-22T06:06:00.000+09:00

If I don't manage to knock the cigs on the head yet, I am going all out for it in the New Year. It will be my resolution. I will only make the one!

I have slipped a bit. So has younger son. Neither of us is happy about it at all.

I am blaming the stress of the season. Goodness, who am I kidding? Stress is not helped by smoking is it? Blood pressure goes up, that's not good. Also all that poison in one cig! Yuck. So why do I do it? Yes, it was cool when I was 18 but I have long passed that age and am sadly addicted!

BUT, I will stop, I will you know!

Merry Christmas and a great 2007. X X X X X X X

Ermmm. Failure!

2006-12-19T03:43:00.000+09:00

Hi, Fagash Lil here.
I haven't written lately as I have been a miserable failure, weak willed and stuff.
But, I will try again. I haven't any cigs open at the moment and hope this will continue.
To be honest with you, did wonder whether to wait until midnight at New Year then start again. But that will be a few cigs before then, it's 2 weeks to go, less one day. So even 10 a day adds up.
130 cigs over 13 days.
Yes, I did use the calculator to check if I was right, I am bad at maths, lol always was and can't see myself getting much better now!
Looking at the 130, it would have been 260 for 26 days. (No calculator then!) I used to smoke about 20 a day. Good gracious.